just full of bad energy this week. didn’t want to write these at all. but there we go.
one of the things I think about a lot around ‘leadership’ is kind of based on Paul Ford’s post about how irony doesn’t scale. essentially boiling down to, how do you provide 'air cover’ (urgh, military analogies) for people around you - and a lot of the time, I reckon, it’s just about keeping your mouth shut about things you’re exposed to or know that might frustrate others and they don’t need to know about them anyway, because all being well, it’ll go away without them ever knowing. anyway. I felt like I oscillated between being good and bad at this this past week.
not trying to turn these into therapy notes but often it ends up being the thing I think about for a lot of the week. this week’s session saw me searching my emails for a memory prompt afterwards and it threw up an email from James. suddenly felt slightly hit in the stomach with grief for the next 20 minutes, had a cry on the train, and arrived at work in a bit of a daze. it reminded me of Tonkin’s circle of grief: it doesn’t get smaller, life just grows around it. I’m still annoyed that he is gone.
made a biryani from the Dishoom book yesterday. different to but also not quite as good as the Bon Appetit one I made in early Jan. bit too greasy, this one (maybe I didn’t drain the fried onions well enough), but also, biryanis, what a hassle.
Will left on Friday. I think we gave him a good send off. we’ll miss you Will!
Service Design in Gov looked like it was well good. I was sad not to be there and would have liked to see both Will and Cassie’s talks.
asked my mum if she remembered what I wanted to be when I grew up, when I was a kid. my memory was that I wanted to be an author. she said she remembered a holiday in France with my grandma, when we went to buy bread and then I spent nearly all morning there on the floor counting centimes. “Grandma thought you were going to grow up to be the governor of the Bank of England!”. is it too late? Mark Carney leaves next week, have they replaced him yet?
Jones of Brockley, a fancy food shop, has opened in East Dulwich. their blood oranges are cheaper than SMBS’s. time moves fast: can’t believe I’ve missed Seville oranges and also pretty much missed forced rhubarb this year just through not paying attention. wild garlic, Jersey royals and aspargus soon (ish) though right? ish.
I’ve had two nightmares about getting on planes. hugely excited to stay grounded for at least another week after working out last Friday that I’ve been in flight for over 60 hours in the past month. that’s before hanging around in airports or getting to them. the flygskam is strong.
also the White Pube on supporting arts inclusivity when you’re privileged. “something i’ve said before but worth repeating: ‘ask yourself how much you want the world to progress vs. how much you want to be SEEN as someone who wants the world to progress.’ It shouldn’t be about you and you know that. It should be about our generation as a collective and pulling each other up so we can dismantle the whole thing n start it again but better.”
talked to a friend about work this week who said to me “remember what [friend] said to me a few years ago: you’re not Jesus.” I mentioned this to my therapist and I have never seen someone try so hard to suppress laughter.
time in the market over timing the market, people. a guy on the overground this morning had a mask, a scarf around the mask, and disposable gloves on. I am not that person, but somehow I have taken on coronavirus paranoia enough that I’m trying to stop touching my face. it’s really hard!
Arsenal, though. why do we even. it’s the hope that kills you, etc.
I’ve never cracked the wallet / purse problem. I prefer to carry things in my pockets rather than in a bag, but carrying individual cards and change loose feels like a falling-out-of-pocket disaster waiting to happen. as of last week I am now putting an elastic band around the cards I carry. it’s minimalist genius, I’ve been laughed at at least twice for it, and it was all C’s idea anyway. come at me haters, it’s only one branded elastic band and an Instagram ad away from commercial riches.
restarted Italian lessons after a few months off while my teacher brought up a child. she’s pleased that I appear to be better at Italian than when we left off. that’s all thanks to Duolingo and speaking Italian more at home. turns out practice works!
this is another weeknote written from an airport. Zagreb airport is excellent.
stayed in both a 4* and a 3* hotel this week. the 4* hotel had a pool, but also my room was a bit dark, 25 degrees and couldn’t be made cooler, and confusing shower controls. the 3* hotel did not have a pool or a spa, but did have good lighting and daylight, was only 21 degrees aka a temperature you can sleep in, and exceptionally clear shower controls. a reminder that stars are given pretty much on the basis of the features of a hotel, not necessarily the quality of experience.
took too many books with me this week.
might’ve sussed out why I might owe some tax. still not sure if I actually owe any tax. tune in next week for more!
downloaded Reeder for both mobile and desktop to bring together my RSS and Instapaper in one place. it’s pleasing, and one step on for my 2020 personal stack improvements.
really, really, deeply hoping for at least a month at home.
the artists formerly known as Poplar have come out of hiding and renamed to Breakroom. it’s basically Glassdoor for frontline jobs. more transparency for non white collar workers is a good thing. given they’re building a product that appears to be, essentially, about empowerment, I wonder if a new category could get added…‘This employer is supportive of workers joining a trade union’
I haven’t yet worked out the boundaries for working in the open in my current role, so while there is loads I could write about my working week, I am only going to say that political structures of countries can make it really hard to deliver good digital stuff. any hand wringing done about the political system in the UK is obviously not in vain (I’m not a proponent of the “eat your greens, they’re starving in Africa” argument), but damn, we are in many ways very lucky - and we have a lot to learn from those who have more political barriers in place.
have now watched the Taylor Swift documentary. probably not for the last time.