just full of bad energy this week. didn’t want to write these at all. but there we go.
one of the things I think about a lot around ‘leadership’ is kind of based on Paul Ford’s post about how irony doesn’t scale. essentially boiling down to, how do you provide 'air cover’ (urgh, military analogies) for people around you - and a lot of the time, I reckon, it’s just about keeping your mouth shut about things you’re exposed to or know that might frustrate others and they don’t need to know about them anyway, because all being well, it’ll go away without them ever knowing. anyway. I felt like I oscillated between being good and bad at this this past week.
not trying to turn these into therapy notes but often it ends up being the thing I think about for a lot of the week. this week’s session saw me searching my emails for a memory prompt afterwards and it threw up an email from James. suddenly felt slightly hit in the stomach with grief for the next 20 minutes, had a cry on the train, and arrived at work in a bit of a daze. it reminded me of Tonkin’s circle of grief: it doesn’t get smaller, life just grows around it. I’m still annoyed that he is gone.
made a biryani from the Dishoom book yesterday. different to but also not quite as good as the Bon Appetit one I made in early Jan. bit too greasy, this one (maybe I didn’t drain the fried onions well enough), but also, biryanis, what a hassle.
Will left on Friday. I think we gave him a good send off. we’ll miss you Will!
Service Design in Gov looked like it was well good. I was sad not to be there and would have liked to see both Will and Cassie’s talks.
asked my mum if she remembered what I wanted to be when I grew up, when I was a kid. my memory was that I wanted to be an author. she said she remembered a holiday in France with my grandma, when we went to buy bread and then I spent nearly all morning there on the floor counting centimes. “Grandma thought you were going to grow up to be the governor of the Bank of England!”. is it too late? Mark Carney leaves next week, have they replaced him yet?
Jones of Brockley, a fancy food shop, has opened in East Dulwich. their blood oranges are cheaper than SMBS’s. time moves fast: can’t believe I’ve missed Seville oranges and also pretty much missed forced rhubarb this year just through not paying attention. wild garlic, Jersey royals and aspargus soon (ish) though right? ish.